Here’s a poem I wrote for a friend of mine who was in a bad romance, and finally woke up to the fact.

Betrayed

Show me reality, open my eyes
Lead me to love
Tell me no lies
Desperation, separation, desolation
Unbearable sorrow, endless tomorrows
I miss, and I ache, and I wish, and I think
I doubt, and I trust, and I float, and I sink
But still, I exist.

And then you are there again, once more I soar
And think back a while
Beyond and before
Happily, laughingly, joyfully
Wonderful hours, love empowers
I talk and I ask, and I prompt and I wait
I listen to silence, a void that I hate
I think, “Why is this?”

I regret many things never said loud
I detest my own arrogance – Why am I proud?
Pending, hanging, longing
Mild irritation, dead conversation
I start and I stop, and I go and I pause
I decide not to speak, and only because
It’s for you to choose.

So now I will simply stay close to the ground
You can’t be brought low
If you’re already down
Not hoping, not wishing, not dreaming
Expecting naught, lessons taught
I love, and I want, and I reach, and I need
I fall, and I bruise, and I hurt, and I bleed
No more to lose.

Forgive me for wondering what’s really there
I’ve strived and I’ve struggled
To get you to share
Confusion, delusion, illusion
Words unmeant, efforts unspent
I sit and I think, and I guess that I know
I measure actions and see what they show
And what I’m supposed to miss.

It’s killing to know that despite words and vows
You’re just a convenience
For when time allows
Contradiction, infliction, fiction
Gestures spurned, not returned
I gave and I trusted and pleaded and wept
I’ve learned to expect the promise unkept
And so, I exist.

© Darryn Roberts 2001

About these ads