Here’s a poem I wrote for a friend of mine who was in a bad romance, and finally woke up to the fact.
Show me reality, open my eyes
Lead me to love
Tell me no lies
Desperation, separation, desolation
Unbearable sorrow, endless tomorrows
I miss, and I ache, and I wish, and I think
I doubt, and I trust, and I float, and I sink
But still, I exist.
And then you are there again, once more I soar
And think back a while
Beyond and before
Happily, laughingly, joyfully
Wonderful hours, love empowers
I talk and I ask, and I prompt and I wait
I listen to silence, a void that I hate
I think, “Why is this?”
I regret many things never said loud
I detest my own arrogance – Why am I proud?
Pending, hanging, longing
Mild irritation, dead conversation
I start and I stop, and I go and I pause
I decide not to speak, and only because
It’s for you to choose.
So now I will simply stay close to the ground
You can’t be brought low
If you’re already down
Not hoping, not wishing, not dreaming
Expecting naught, lessons taught
I love, and I want, and I reach, and I need
I fall, and I bruise, and I hurt, and I bleed
No more to lose.
Forgive me for wondering what’s really there
I’ve strived and I’ve struggled
To get you to share
Confusion, delusion, illusion
Words unmeant, efforts unspent
I sit and I think, and I guess that I know
I measure actions and see what they show
And what I’m supposed to miss.
It’s killing to know that despite words and vows
You’re just a convenience
For when time allows
Contradiction, infliction, fiction
Gestures spurned, not returned
I gave and I trusted and pleaded and wept
I’ve learned to expect the promise unkept
And so, I exist.
© Darryn Roberts 2001